Ode to spam -Okay not really an ode more like a lame sarcastic complaint

I love email spam. I can have Russian, Asian women, a vehicle warranty and more hair. I always click on them and open all the links provided. Strangely I have to buy a new computer every week.

I do miss the Nigerian prince who wants me to hold onto 85 million for him. I only have to provide my bank account and access code. What could go wrong?

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19 thoughts on “Ode to spam -Okay not really an ode more like a lame sarcastic complaint”

  1. you must have yahoo mail– a total spam magnet. My first yahoo mail was flooded every day, the spammers sell & resell the email addresses harvested from wherever.
    I kept getting ones that said ‘in response to your inquiry on refinancing your mortgage..’– I didn’t ask anyone anything & don’t even have a mortgage. . hahah
    I closed my first yahoo acct the day I got 123 spams in one day…Strangely, gmail gets very little..

    1. Yup it’s Yahoo. There are many reasons why I hate Yahoo. The ads they load onto the email page always panics my computer into looking for software updates to run the ad. Yes the spam is amazing. I see so much crap from day to day usually upwards of 30-50 a day. I get a kick out of many. It was my third email account after AOL and Netscpae. I’ve had it for over 20 years. Wow 20 years.

      1. I use adblockers and I discovered yahoo mail suddenly wouldn’t open with them last year… I just went there to empty my spam anyway but they said ‘ check your internet connectiom.. what they really meant was ‘disable adblockers to access your mail’ NO.. Consider Gmail, it’s a better mail anyway and adblockers play nice, I haven’t seen an ad in gmail for years

      2. That is funny and so like Yahoo. I have a couple of gmail accounts but my paranoia won’t let me get rid of Yahoo. I swear everything online is tracked. I’d like to see what my online profile really looks like. Or maybe not.

  2. I don’t even use my real name on line, I’ve used Kate Quinn for around 8 years so now it’s part of my self-image identity… once I started to sign something as that name haha.

  3. The post reminds me of what my granny use to say “you can never have enough hair or Nigerian princes.”

    I will happily send you an electronic copy of my new book “Wise Things My Granny Said” for no charge as the p.d.f will harvest youre bank details automatically.

  4. Out of sheer sadness I did a follow up and googled grow youre own hair.

    “Want to grow youre hair?”

    “grow youre hair buisness”

    “7 ways to naturally grow youre hair”

    “20 pro secrets to grow hair longer”

    “Black hair growth pills that work-buy then or make youre own”

    More hair is good and leads to untold wealth and eternal happiness it would seem.

    “create your own diamond from hair or ashes.start now!”

    1. So funny. If you get a million people to sign up for a dollar a piece you might make some money. I tried to sell a gravity subscription once at .25 cents a month. No takers I might try again. All I need is a few million people to send in a quarter. I could guarantee that gravity will remain stable on a month by month basis.

      1. Just find the right buzz words

        “how to make youre own gravity from ear wax and other natural organic products: buy now or make youre own

        “20 pro tips that will keep youre feet firmly on the ground”

        “discover how to maintian an upright posture and unleash the forces of nature”

      2. No. I missed the bit you got. Reason to buy.
        “Does Mexican gravity cause gayness in frogs?”

        “Bad gravity may effect long term wellbeing”

        “How creating youre own gravity can lead to personal happiness and success”

      3. Way cool. “Talk to your kids about gravity.” “Keep your feet firmly on the ground with Gravitex.” “Gravity won’t keep you up at night.”

      4. I think we should start bottling it and selling it. Gravity granules. Which includes a free gravitational graviton rod. When consumed garviton gravity magnets can be placed in the desired location for instant effect.

        Cure headaches, stress, increase the size of youre breasts. Attract more hair and more Nigerian Princes etc. etc.

    1. I read somewhere that that particular spammer was busted and he wasn’t even from Nigeria. Jeez if you can’t trust a fake Nigeria Prince, well what’s next uncaring politicians? Oops went a little political.

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